Planning is Overrated

I used to think I was a planner. Turns out, I was just unhappy.

Back in the early 2010s, I took the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator personality test and tested as an INTJ. If you’re familiar with the INTJ personality type, you know it leans heavily toward planning over spontaneity.

For years, I believed that was just who I was.

I loved a plan. I color-coded everything. I mapped out my finances in detail. Even as a teenager, I coped by planning out my future—especially college—down to the details.

Then my life changed.

I got a divorce. I went back to school. I changed jobs. I found a healthy relationship and finally—finally!—went to therapy. I went no contact with family. Slowly, I started healing.

Nothing makes your unhappiness clearer than happiness itself.

I started to enjoying small, simple things again. I planted things. I sang out loud. I danced in public. Life just felt so much better.

So you might be wondering: why does any of this matter?

Does healing change your personality?

Happy me is VERY different from unhappy me.

When I took that personality test, I was miserable. Unhappy marriage, worse job, few friends, no family I could trust. I leaned into planning as a way to cope. When everything felt uncertain and overwhelming, planning helped me feel in control.

And to be fair, it worked. I paid off student loans and credit cards. I completed an entire Master’s program. Planning helps me organize my thoughts, manage my anxiety, and move forward.

But here’s what it didn’t do:

It didn’t help me take action.

I know myself well enough to know I default to overthinking. Overdoing. Overplanning. But knowing that means I can push back—choosing action over overthinking when it matters.

The truth is, some of the most important decisions of my life were impulsive. They came from me choosing ‘why not?’ instead of thinking myself out of it.

Ten years ago, that’s how I met my husband.

This year, that’s how I went to Korea.

Not all of my impulse decisions have been perfect. Some had consequences. I wouldn’t undo any of them.

They moved my life forward in ways planning never did. After all, higher risk brings higher rewards.

It’s clear to me now: I wasn’t a planner. I was a woman trying to survive.

The me of now wants more than that. More than just scraping by. More than survival to see another day.

So maybe, if you’re stuck in overthinking, this might be your sign to try something different. Not reckless. Just a little less controlled.

Try this: make one small decision today without researching it to death. And if you feel up to it, let me know how it goes!